Ctrl-Alt-Delete: A Headphones Novel
by dance.till.i.drop
Summary: The final battle for Youtube has begun. Stephanie and Stephano have returned with the Sword of Dreams and Reality. The Barrel Queen is ready to fight. With your headphones on and the volume up, be careful not to hit ctrl-alt-delete
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my Ocs. Y'all know who they are.**

(Stephanie's POV)

I took Stephano's hand as the portal opened. Clutching the sword in my hand, we stepped through and landed softly on the living room floor. A wall of blue and purple fabric and red hair slammed into me as Alice cried,

"You're back!" she stepped back and looked me up and down.

"You found it?" she whispered, clasping her hands together. I held up the sword, which was faintly glowing.

"My god." another voice said. JameyRocket walked into the living room.

"You actually found it." After six long weeks of deciphering clues, looking up locations, and traveling, Stephano and I had found the Barrier's one weakness. The Sword of Dreams and Reality. The sword itself was an unremarkable thing, a simple silver hilt and blade. The only indications it was magic was the faint purple glow about it, and the runes engraved into the pommel. Jamey gesture if he could take it. As he took it, a wave of exaughstion swept over me. I stumbled into Stephano, who put an arm around me shoulders and guided me to the couch.

"Where's everyone?" I heard him ask.

"They're at the battle field." Alice responded.

"And Jamey and I were just getting ready to go back." Stephano stood and I frowned.

"Battle field?" Jamey nodded.

"The Barrel Queen has chosen and the first skirmish was two days ago. There's no going back now."

After a few hours of sleep, I awoke feeling refreshed. Alice supplied me with a uniform and I buckled my sword around my waist. As I stared at myself in the mirror, I realized how much I'd changed. I looked older, more mature. My hair was a lot longer, shaggier, streaked with grey. M body was fit, lean and strong from wielding the sword. A thought hit me, and I stumbled back from the mirror. I looked like a warrior. Alice, Jamey, and Stephano were waiting for me downstairs. Alice and Jamey smiled at my Bro Army uniform, while Stephano merely nodded. A portal was already open, it's blue light making the living room shimmer. Taking a deep breath, I stepped through. A cheer met my ears as I emerged onto a hilltop, the Bro Army cheering below. Tears sprang to my eyes as I recognized the familiar symbol of my father's channel on the standards flying in front of the tents. A blue Brofist on a field of purple. Darcey and Aeryn ran up the hill towards me as I raised my fist in hello. The cheering intensified as I embraced both girls.

"We're so happy you're back, Steph." Darcey whispered in my ear. Then she snapped a smart salute at Alice and Jamey.

"Orders?" she barked, fist to her brow.

"A meal would be appreciated. Bring it to the general's tent. Carry on." Both girls saluted and ran off down the hill.

"I've been acting general during your absence. Toby and Cry will want to speak with you. This way." Jamey explained, leading us towards the tents."

"Thank you." I said, and saluted a grin sliding across my face. Jamey pulled aside the door and we walked in. Standing over a map was Toby, Cry, and Ange, talking quietly and moving pieces around. They looked up as Jamey said,

"Steph's here."

"Sweetiepie, Stephano! Good to have you back." she said, saluting, and then hurried forward to hug me. Toby and Cry both smiled at me.

"You found it?" Toby asked, echoing Alice's earlier question. Stephano unsheathed it and held it out for inspection.

"Amazing." Cry murmured. I walked over to the map and examined the pieces.

"Purple for the Bros. Brown for the Barrels." Toby said, rearranging a group. I smiled at him.

"So everyone is doing ok?" He nodded, scratching the back of his neck.

"No causulaties, but we had a few injuries during the first skirmish." I counted the little pieces. Over five hundred to the Bro Army and more than a thousand to the Barrels.

"How are we going to survive this?" I muttered helplessly.

"A miracle." Ange quipped, coming up on my other side. She wore the Army uniform, a purple, long-sleeved t-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of combat boots. A gun was holstered at her side, and a katana strapped over her back.

"Everyone is so hopeful, now that you're back." she remarked, moving the pieces yet again. I glanced at her.

"What do you mean?" she shrugged.

"Ever since Pewdie turned, you've taken his place quite nicely. You've gotten the Bro Army to believe in Sweetiepie. And that's all they could ask for." Ange walked away, leaving me to muse on that. Sweetiepie was thought up in the darkened corridors of Brennenburg. I had thought that was where she would stay.

**A/N: Hey Stepharmy! As promised, the first chapter. I hope Sunday will be the official date of updates, so we'll see. I need to ask a favor… take ten minuets out of your day and go watch my first video regarding fanfic, and other things. Link in my profile, I would really appreciate it. See ya then, and I luv you guys.**

**PEACE TO THE COOKIES!  
**

-d.t.I.d


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Ocs belong to me or their creators. **

(Stephano's POV)

Someone shook me awake with the words,

"The Barrels have called a white flag." I rolled out of bed and picked up my sword. Stephanie stumbled out of her tent, hair a disheveled wreck.

"What's going on?" she asked, and we followed Alice, Jamey, and Darcey toward the open field.

"I wonder what they want now?" Toby growled, pulling on a green t-shirt. I shrugged, taking Steph's hand as she stumbled. She smiled at me greatfully. A group of Barrels stood with a white flag and Charlie and Pewdiepie. Both men were tie up and battered. I felt Stephanie stiffen beside me.

"Dad she murmured, and dragged me forward. The Barrel Queen and Bengt stood under the flag, a guard surrounding them.

"Sweetiepie! We're glad you could join us." The Barrel Queen said sarcastically. I snarled in response. She laughed and gestured towards her prisoners.

"I'm willing to ransom these two for Alois." I grimaced.

"Alois is yours." Stephanie spat.

"We'll deliver him to you in an hour." She motioned for Toby, Cry, and Jamey to prepare the monster.

"Very well, you shall have the two." The Barrel Queen said dismissively.

"Meanwhile, I am offering terms of surrender." I growled, but stopped when Stephanie shot me a glare.

"You will return to the human world and cease gaming. All Brennenburg inhabitants will return and the Kjellburgs will become just that, the Kjellburgs. No more Pewdiepie, Sweetiepie, or Cutiepie." My mouth dropped open and I turned to Stephanie. She was frowning, playing with her locket.

"We shall have to consider. But know this." Her eyes blazed and she drew herself up.

"The Bro Army will live on with or without us. One hour. Don't be late."

X

(Stephanie's POV)

I sat on the cliff above the camps. A small breeze teased my hair out of it's braid, and I brushed the strands out of my face. Everything was happening way too fast. I was sixteen years old and I was leading an army. A hand touched my shoulder and I jerked, swinging my sword up to Stephano's face. He blinked calmly at me as I winced and lowered it.

"Sorry." I said, and returned it to it's sheath. Stephano wrapped me in his arms, and kissed me, a searching, questioning kiss. I buried my face in his chest when we broke apart and let the tears I'd held wash down my face.

"It's alright." Stephano whispered, running his hands through my hair. We sank into the grass and sat there, just taking comfort in each other. I closed my eyes and was just drifting between sleep and consciousness, when someone ran towards us. Stephano gently shook me awake.

"Ange is here. Must be time." With a regretful sigh, I sat up and tucked my stray hair behind my ears. Ange saluted as we stood and faced her.

"We'll be there in a few minuets." I told her. With a nod, she turned and jogged back. Hand in hand, Stephano and I walked down the cliff.

The Barrel Queen waited in the field, my father and Charlie at her side. Alois calmly walked behind Toby and Cry, but I knew we could be attacked at any moment. I shook the Queen's hand, searching for any sign of betrayal. But her unsmiling face was complacent.

"Alois as promised." I said. We allowed the monster to walk forward and stand with the Barrels.

"And the two you asked for." she replied, waving a hand at her guards. The untied Dad and Charlie and watched stoically as they joined my honor guard.

"Until next time, Sweetiepie." The Barrel Queen hissed, and walked away. Sneering in return, I watched as they retreated. Then I turned to Dad and Charlie and embraced them.

"You found it?" Charlie asked. I nodded. His eyes sparkled.

"Well done." Dad kissed my forehead and I felt a wave of strength.

X

(None)

The Sword of Dreams and Reality is the one thing that can destroy the Barrier between the gaming and physical worlds. It is a dangerous weapon and has been sought after by many. But beware, bearers, for you may not live to see the havoc it will wreak.

**A/N: Surprise… guys… *Smiles weakly.* sorry about Sunday, but I got really really busy. So, surprise Wednesday update! Just wanna let ya know, I love you guys, and I'll see ya next time!**

**Peace to the Cookies!**

**-d.t.I.d**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: **

**Disclaimer: All OC's belong to me or their creators. Anything you recognize does not belong to me. **

(Stephanie's POV)

When the armies dispersed, I threw myself into Dad's arms and tried to stem the flow of tears.

"Steph, it's ok, it's ok." he whispered into my ear. I held him at arm's length and took in his battered appearance. Then I turned to Charlie. We grinned at each other for a moment and then collided.

"I missed you so much." he said to me. I finally allowed a few tears to escape. The chair had been my surrogate brother throughout this whole adventure, and being separated from him had been one of the hardest things about this. Charlie hushed me as Toby Cry approached.

"The leaders would like to discuss. Now that the Barrels have Alois, they'll be planning an attack. We have to prepare." I straightened myself and nodded.

"Lead on." the two walked off, my honor guard. Stephano fell into step beside me.

"You're doing great. Just give it a few more hours." he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed a kiss to my temple. Waiting for us was Alice, Darcey, Jamey, Ange, and Aeryn. They all looked pale, drawn, aged beyond their years.

"Hello. Sit, please." they obliged and then Jamey said,

"You do realize that now they have Alois…" I held up a hand and nodded.

"We must prepare."

"The bros will be ready and prepared to fight. Just give the command."

I walked through the camp, listening to the sounds of preparation for war. Every time someone noticed me, they'd lift a fist to their brow and murmur,

"Sweetiepie." Later, Charlie mentioned,

"They say your name as though you're a queen." I smiled wryly. The chair was examining the Sword, eyes wide. He ran a finger along the flat of the blade.

"And have you tried using it?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Honestly, Stephano and I just got back." his jaw dropped and I nodded, a smile breaking across my face. Stephano ducked into the tent, looking frazzled.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He pulled off his hood and shook his head.

"We've captured Skully and the Army is howling for his blood." It was my turn to gape.

"How?" I finally gasped. Stephano explained,

"We overrode the slave's quarters and Skully was trying to fight back. He's in the commander's tent and Ange wants you to talk to him." With a sigh, I stood and sheathed the Sword.

"Most sixteen year olds go shopping." I growled.

"But I'm doing interrogations." Stephano laughed and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"Steph, I'm here. I'll always be here." I buried my face in his shirt.

"I know." Still holding hands, we walked towards the tent.

X

(Stephano's POV)

We paused outside the tent and I could almost hear Stephanie steeling herself. She dropped my hand and stepped inside. Drawing a blank look onto my face, I followed. Skully was kneeling on the floor, hands tied behind his back. One eye was swelled shut, and he was bleeding from a cut on his forehead. Cry was standing behind him, eyes dark, his mask stuck in the front pocket of his jeans. Skully looked up as we walked in, giving Stephanie a mocking smile.

"Sweetiepie…. What a pleasure." he bowed. With a growl, I stepped forward, hand going to the hilt of my sword. Steph waved me back.

"And her knight in shining armor." Skully drawled. Cry lifted an arm to cuff him around the head, but once again, Stephanie waved him down.

"Skully, you have betrayed the Bro Army. My generals have asked me to sentence you." she said, radiating authority.

"I have concluded that if we send you back to the Barrels, we may face undesirable consequences. If I allow them to lock you up, there is the chance you may escape." Stephanie paused and took a deep breath. Skully's eyes widened, and I felt my blood run cold as she continued,

"So, as leader of the Bro Army, I, Sweetiepie, sentence you to death."

X

(Stephanie's POV)

PJ, Stephano, Darcey, and I left. We couldn't stay for the execution. I sat on the cliff top, eyes dry, the wind blowing around me. PJ stood next to me, eyes trained on the horizon. Darcey lay a little behind us, concealed in the grass and Stephano was crouched on my right.

'_What have I done?_' I thought, but the wind snatched the thought away.

**A/N: *waves sheepishly* Um.. Hi. Sorry I haven't updated… I've been super busy. (Lame excuse) Anyway, guys, thanks for all the support, and I really appreciate the reviews… more reviews, longer chapters? Um.. Bai. Don't hate me. **

**Peace to the Cookies!**

** . **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, all OC's belong to me or their creators. **

(Stephanie's POV)

Screams rent the camp. With a curse, I tumbled out of bed and pulled on my boots, snatching up my sword and running outside. Barrels and Bros were locked in combat, the grass already slick with blood. A tent went up in flames as I hurled myself into the battle. Time blurred as I darted in and out, stabbing at any Barrel figure I saw. My army was in a panic, so I fought my way to the commander's tent.

"TO ME! BROS TO ME!" I bellowed, fighting off another Barrel. The cry was taken up as Bros ran towards the tent from the camp. I waved a banner and when I had a good sized group, we plunged into the battle. We were a veritable wave of death as I howled nonsense war cries like,

"For the Bros! Pewdiepie! Youtube!" My team echoed them, adding their own. We were unstoppable, whirling swords and banging guns. More joined our group until we were gathered, facing the Barrel line. Blood roared in my ears as I shouted,

"Ready?"

"Bring it on!" Someone shouted back.

"Charge!" I yelled, and we surged forward. My guard and I were the first to meet the Barrels, a vortex of war cries and flashing steel. Bengt appeared in front of me, eyes wild. He laughed maniacally and swung his sword at me. I blocked it and attacked, driving him back over the slick ground.

"You cannot defeat us!" I howled and leapt at him. A bolt of pain blossomed from my right shoulder and I fell with a shriek of pain. The Barrel Queen stood over me, a sword dripping red with my blood.

"Good bye, Sweetiepie." She cackled, and raised the sword.

"NO!" Stephano yelled, appearing from nowhere, driving the Queen away from me. My eyes rolled up in my head and I fell into darkness.

X

(Stephano's POV)

As Stephanie went still, the Barrel Queen fled, calling for her soldiers to fall back. I sheathed my sword and picked up Stephanie's prone form.

"We have to get Stephanie back to camp. I called to the Bros around us. Most were kneeling or standing, looking shell shocked, staring at the bodies littering the ground. Ange and Jamey were the first to react.

"Carry her!" Ange shouted, and ran off towards the camp. Jamey took up a place by my side and we ran. Charlie met us just outside the tents, holding a medical bag.

"Put her here!" he said, indicating a blanket. I set her down as gently as I could, brushing strands of hair out of her face.

"Please don't die." I whispered to her. Then I stood and turned to Jamey.

"Come on. We have to get the wounded here and the dead accounted for and buried. Charlie, if she wakes up come find me." The chair nodded absentmindedly, already focused on Steph. Sighing, I followed Jamey towards the battle field.

Four days, I thought. She's been asleep for four days. I was crouched by her cot, fingers clutched around her cold hand. Charlie was looking over the other patients, eyes bloodshot. Alice helped him, bringing water, changing bandages, Darcey by her side.

"Wake up." I called to her, softly. She didn't stir. Standing, I kissed her gently and left, blinking in the bright sun. A commotion caught my attention as a Portal opened on the hill. Pulling out my sword, I ran up the slope, a billion scenarios running through my head. But a girl stepped out, wearing a shirt with a fiery figure on it, and sobbing hysterically. She collapsed to her knees and sat there, shoulders shaking. I froze, not sure what to do. Jennifer took over, wrapping her arms around the girl.

"Sh, it's ok. Look, what's your name?" she said. The girl gulped and looked up.

"I'm Ella, the AnonymousFirePower. They say that she's dead, Sweetiepie is dead! Is it true?" My jaw dropped as someone yelled,

"WHO?" In an incredulous voice. Ella looked up at me, eyes wide, and frightened.

"The Ducks. They say Sweetiepie is dead." I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"She's not dead."

"Thank god." The girl whispered. Then it hit me. They really looked up to her, and when we got out of this, she might even surpass her father.

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry this is late… I didn't get it typed until today. Thanks to QueenLF for submitting Ella. Happy New Years everyone, and I want to thank all of you for sticking with me this long! You make me so happy. As always, reviews are happiness and rainbows, I love you guys, and **

**PEACE TO THE COOKIES!**

**-d.t.i.d**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five: **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. OC's belong to me or their creators. **

(Stephanie's POV)

I was wandering in a huge, white expanse. My sword was in my hand, letting off a faint light.

"Sweetiepie… I am curious little one."

"Who are you?" I shouted back, narrowing my eyes. The voice chuckled behind me. I turned and was faced with a glowing figure. They smiled at me.

"Hello Sweetiepie." Their voice was neither male nor female. On an impulse, I bowed.

"You are lost, little one, tapped between the worlds. You must be careful for if you die in our world, you will not be returned home. Now go, defeat the Barrels and bring back all the light of this world." The figured stepped forward and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Then I woke, sitting straight up. A bolt of pain shot through my back and I let out a half scream. I collapsed back onto the pillows, my vision dancing with spots.

"Stephano!" I yelled angrily, struggling to push myself up. He ran in, eyes tron between happiness and worry. Worry won over as he saw what I was trying to do.

"No, no, stop, calm down. You've been asleep for nearly a week. We were getting worried." He pushed me back onto the pillows. With a growl, I pushed his hands away.

"I can't lay in bed when there is an army to fight!" I announced. Stephano tutted at me.

"You can't even sit up, and I doubt you'll be able to lift a sword." With a sigh, I settled back.

"At least let me meet with my officers." Pressing a kiss to my forehead, Stephano left to round them up. Hissing in pain, I sat up and looked around. Charlie walked in, holding the Sword. He smiled at me and set the sword down.

"Finally decided to rejoin the world of the living, I see." He quipped, handing me a cup of water. With a snort, I grinned at him and took a sip. Charlie began to explain everything that had happened in the last week. When he mentioned the new recruit, I asked to meet her. Before long, I was surrounded by Dad, both my god-uncles, Ella, and Stephano.

"What have the Barrels been up to?" I asked, nodding to Toby.

"No activity. They seem to be waiting until you reappear." Which could be an advantage. If it seemed I never recover, then we could spring a surprise attack.

"Charlie has been looking for a spell that could send the Barrels back to Brennenburg for good… but we're not sure it'll send only the Barrels." He glanced at Stephano and Charlie.

"It's a risk we're willing to take." Stephano said. I frowned at him but turned back to Charlie.

"The spell?" He sighed and said,

"I found some refrences to it… but it's in another game. The Witch's House." Dad exploded.

"No way in hell is she ever going there." I waved a hand at him.

"Pewds, if we don't send the Barrels back to Brennenburg, then everything you've worked for in your career will be for nothing. Besides, she's have Stephano. And who ever we decide to send with her." Cry said, leaning forward. I smiled greatfully at him.

"I'll go." Ella said, and smiled at me. Dad considered it, brow furrowed.

"Fine. But not until you've healed." I nodded, and the meeting dispersed. Everyone left, Charlie back to his patients, Ella to train, and the others to do various things. The golden statue knelt beside my bed, taking my hand in his. I smiled at him, and said,

"Stay?" he nodded and pulled off his boots and coat. He climbed onto the bed beside me and wrapped his arms around my stomach. He pressed his lips to my hair and whispered,

"Goodnight, my love."

**A/n: Hey guys! Thanks for being so patient with me, it's been a hectic few weeks. So, from now on, I will have a new chapter out every Sunday, and all my other stories are going on hold until I'm done. Thanks for all the support, reviews are much appreciated, and **

**PEACE TO THE COOKIES!**

**-d.t.i.d**


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